Practicing

When I Missed Someone But I Can Only Hide It [A Story of A Lover]

I miss you. Right on this day, a day that’s still special for me.

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It’s a good old day

I’m at a low point of my life right now, I guess. I hate it. I feel my days pass in loneliness and sadness. I’m trying everything to get out of this hole, I just haven’t succeed. I don’t know, I don’t have a clue if I really will never get out of this hole or maybe God just want to see me fight harder. I begin to be pessimistic, I begin to remember my happiness in the past to help me stay grateful for what God has gave to me. But unfortunately my memories will always come back to him, always like that. I hate when I couldn’t think about anything other than him whenever I trapped inside my loneliness. The memories about him are the pain that I always enjoy. How stupid I am.

Like now, lately I reminded of him again. Remembering him only makes me worse. I feel like I’m walking in a long dark tunnel and don’t know how much longer I would see the light. Is forgetting the good old days with people we love will be this hard? My sadness has made me miss him again. I’m stupid, indeed.

The memories about him always make me happy, always can make me forget my bad days. But that was first. Right now, I could only cry in my smile whenever the longing brings me back to play the memory of us. I could only feel my painful chest and the swollen eyes when I realized the truth that I could no longer hold him and whispered the words of love everytime I missed his figure.

I hate myself who loves you too much. I hate my trait. I hate my fragile heart and my intense ego.

I miss you. I hope you will never read this letter. Let this longing be a mystery that I keep myself.

I miss you. Right on this day, a day that’s still special for me.

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